Thursday, July 30, 2015

#SLPNEWS - Washington woman claims she has sex with Bigfoot


Now this isn't the first time we have heard such things in fact there is a whole genre of adult content of Bigfoot porn but I don't think that is what we are seeing here. A Washington woman claims while tending her pot field she encountered a Sasquatch eating her buds. Not only that but Biggie was packing some heat. Really? Is this just the ramblings of a sick mind or is there something deeper going on?

“Bigfoot was standing there eating all the buds off my plants,” Hoggert said. “At first I wanted to run cause he’s very scary, but I thought he might eat all of my marijuana plants and that’s how I used to make a living. I pointed my shotgun at him and he put up his hands, scared.”

“That’s when I looked down and noticed he had a huge erection between his legs. I hadn’t gotten any in a while and well, from there, it somehow turned into an adult movie. I don’t know if he started it or I did. He did me from behind, which felt great.”

Hoggert said the relationship blossomed from just “sex partners’ into a deep love.

“He is so sweet and caring,” Hoggert said. “He brings me flowers and mushrooms. Holds me while we stargaze. The only downside is that he don’t speak English. I have taught him how to say my name, but it’s kind of garbled and he mispronounces it…’Nunnnsay’”

Hoggert said they’re trying for a baby, with no luck thus far, but she is confident it will happen even though she is 52.
“Once I’m pregnant, Bigfoot, or John as I call him, and I are going to settle down and live a quiet domesticated life in my house. He loves living in the forest, but I’m sick of the long-distance relationship. I have to commute for three hours to be with my man. It’s getting old and gas is expensive.”

Just what is the attraction of telling tales of this sort? is it attention or possible a defective mind? Nope it is a business venture according to Hoggart

"will she reveal Bigfoot to the public? Will humanity finally have living proof the mythological creature is real?
“Nah,” Hoggert said regarding presenting Bigfoot to the world. “Government scientists will just take and dissect him or try to turn him into a solider to fight ISIS or something. You know how the government is.”
She did say she will sell pictures and samples of Bigfoot’s fur through a website she plans to set up."
Yes indeed sell your boyfriends hair and DNA on the interwebs that is the future for this woman. Watch out for the Kickstarter coming soon!
Read the full article HERE

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